And when the New Year comes, I tend to dwell on what's gone on in the past year, and what's coming up in the next year.  Especially when it comes to these...

((photo compliments of my mom...))

They have grown in leaps and bounds over the past year.  My precious little daughter who has become a little girl in her own right.  My sweet little son who has become a teeny bull dozer version of his father.

I like to watch them sleep.  In fact, I often check on them two or three times before I go to bed for the night.  Making sure they're covered up, making sure their lovies are within arms reach...  It's when they're asleep that I can still see the baby in them.  The baby that used to need me for everything from food to cuddles to clean bums. 

Oh, don't get me wrong, I know how much they still need me.  They are only two and three...  but they're so independent now.  Ephraim's indignant cry of "I can DO it, MOMMA," often rings through the house.  Keyzia is down to writing her own name, and she is showing so much independance.  It's letting go a little at a time, isn't it? 

So many decision loom in our future.  Decisions that we want to make sure are the best for these little beings that God has entrusted to us.  The most imminent, and the one that weighs the most heavily on my heart is the school issue.  We would love to send them to one of the two Christian schools here in town, but we simply do not, and, without a miracle of some kind, will not have the money to do that.  Pretty high on the list right now is homeschooling.

I have some pretty huge terror and some pretty horrible feelings about relinquishing the care of my daughter, and eventually my son, to a perfect stranger. 

I'm well aware of the fact that I went through public school with little to no problems...  I'm well aware that the majority of the population goes through public school with little to no problems.  What feels wrong to me is the fact that Jason and I have been the biggest influences in our children's lives for the past 3 1/2 years, and now I'm supposed to give that up?  Count on someone else raising my children?  Instilling the morales that I believe in? 

I have days where I am completely for homeschooling.  Days where I can see only the good side, fully the potential.  The ability to teach my children at their own pace.  The opportunity to allow them to focus on the things that they are interested in.  To be able to fast track in some things, and yet go slowly on things that needed the extra time.  That would be a luxury.

Of course, then there are the days when I only see the downside.  The fact that I WOULD be one of the sole providers of education.  That's a huge responsibility.  I worry if I'll have the patience, the knowledge, the perseverance. 

Homeschooling does cost a certain amount of money as well.  Mind you, that would be far far less than Christian school, but still a factor as well.  Would I be able to do respite work still?  Or would I be too tired?  All of these things are swirling around in my already murky brain... 

One thing that I'm not worried about is the socialization aspect.  There is a huge group of homeschoolers in Peterborough that I would be able to take advantage of.  Not to mention play groups, swimming, ballet.  All opportunities for the kids to get together and play with other kids of all ages. 

As this New Year looms so does the need to make a decision over school.  It also becomes a matter of faith.  You take all the Christian kids out of the public schools, and where will the public schools be?  Am I showing a lack of faith by not wanting to put my kids in an environment that I have very little control over?

It's amazing how it all changes when you have kids.  Priorities, hopes, dreams...  it all focuses on those little blessings that have been entrusted to us by God.    This New Year will bring a lot of new things for us.  It just remains to be seen what all those new things are!

Wow.

I bent over today to play with the Little People with the kidlets, and felt something pop in my neck. 

I thought to myself, "hmm, that can't be good."  And when I could hardly stand up or move afterward, I thought, "hmm, that really can't be good."  And then I contemplated swearing.  A lot.

So, Ja insisted that I go to my friendly neighbourhood chiropractor (shhh, don't tell Amanda!) And he came home from work so that I could scootch over and Dr. Ben could pop the thing that was sticking out of my neck back in my neck.

And pop it back in he did.  After running it over with the Thumper.  ((Man, I really gotta get me one of those!))  I felt an instant relief of pressure when he popped it back in.  And, the sick feeling in my tummy went right away, and the almost dizzy feeling I had went right away too.

Now, it still hurts.  It's just more sore now.  At least I can move my arms around and pick up the kids.  It was just one of those fluke things, I guess.  My head will actually turn now, and with just a sore muscle kind of pain instead of sharp searing head is trying to detach itself from the neck kind of pain.

But, I guess I'm getting old, hunh?  Bend over to play and my neck goes out.  Next purchase better be a walker and a wheel chair!

Yup.  You heard me.  Thirteen days until Christmas.  It's not looking good, people.  I have about six projects on the go, and six more planned, and only thirteen days to do them all in.  sigh.

It's not looking good, people.  I mean, it's not like I can just sit around and knit or crochet all day.  I have little people to look after...  a house to clean (ha!), projects to make for myself...  whoops.  Only kidding on that!

I don't know who says that Christmas is a holiday.  We try to keep it simple, and yet the running around, the making things, the setting up the tree, etc, etc, etc.  Relaxing my butt.  We've actually secretly considered just plain cancelling Christmas this year.  We also just found out that we don't get to stay home this year.  Once again we're running off in an attempt to keep everyone happy.

So, if there isn't a lot of posting going on around here in the next thirteen days, it's because I will be creating. 

bah.

Oooeee.  I've got this twitch over my right eye today.  And occasionally?  I have this involuntary shudder thing going on.  A bit of a shake to my left hand too.  It's really not good. 

Today, for several hours, too many hours in fact, I was the only adult in charge of six children.  Four of those children were aged four and under.  Two of those children were the dreaded teenagers.  I'm whispering that 'cuz if they hear me, they might come back.  (((shudder)))

I'm currently head of that horrid Susko boy.  Man, he is terrible.  I mean just look at him.  Don't let that cuteness fool you, he's a terror!  ((kidding!!)) 

I also had two of the three Goodson kids.  Hunter who is four, and Tori who is 14 and homeschooling.

Then add my two to the mix.

Then add a passing by teen who spent the afternoon here.

twitch twitch

Anyways, I had forgotten how much teens can talk!  And boy, can they talk.  And boy can a one year old, a two year old, a three year old, and a four year old fight!  I was tempted to just let them brawl in the middle of the room for a little while...  but then I figured that their respective parents may not like that too much.  We'll see how next week goes...

You know, I am suddenly understanding why my mother-in-law is just a little bit batty.  And, I'm sort of wondering why she isn't a little bit battier....

But, I survived, without alcohol.  Amazing, I know.  I don't even have any little happy pink pills to take.  And I made it.  I will admit I was pretty glad for them all to go home...  and I just sat and listened to how quiet only two kids can be... 

You know, babysitting is really the best form of birth control there could possibly be.  Even though the money sucks, I suppose we'll be saving in the long run!  ;)