There's something about this thing called "pride". Pride makes us think that we can do everything all by ourselves. Pride makes us think that we SHOULD do everything all by ourselves, and that anything less is failure.
I guess right now that makes me a failure.
Back when Ephraim was born, I was hit by a pretty wicked case of PPD. We knew that the chances of getting hit again with the peanut were pretty high, but we also knew that we could get out of it eventually. That it was a short termed thing.
Well, I think I went back on the drugs when I was about three months along. I have an excellent doctor who could see the signs, and she prescribed them for us nicely.
We've had to up the drugs once, and now with four weeks to go, we are doing everything in our power not to up them again.
My support circle this time around is massive. God has drawn this group of people around us that want to help, are willing to help, and won't take no for an answer.
Why should we say no? Because of that pride issue. I think that we are learning humility by having to say, "you know what, we're drowning here, we need some help."
My head knows that it's okay to accept this help at this time. God created the body of the church for just a time as this. And, who knows, in a little while, it will be my turn to gleefully give back to the church all that I feel like I am taking right now.
This time around I have really good friends who are taking over for me. Who want to help and who insist on helping. I've been told repeatedly that I don't need to do it myself, that this is a short term thing, that we'll make it through.
My head understands this too... it's getting my heart to accept that I can still be a good wife and mother while accepting help that is the hard part.
I am so thankful to be part of the body of Christ. I am so thankful that He has provided these wonderful and loving people, people that have become as much a part of my family as my own parents (who are amazing as well!).
And yes, I will let you help me.
