And when the New Year comes, I tend to dwell on what's gone on in the past year, and what's coming up in the next year.  Especially when it comes to these...

((photo compliments of my mom...))

They have grown in leaps and bounds over the past year.  My precious little daughter who has become a little girl in her own right.  My sweet little son who has become a teeny bull dozer version of his father.

I like to watch them sleep.  In fact, I often check on them two or three times before I go to bed for the night.  Making sure they're covered up, making sure their lovies are within arms reach...  It's when they're asleep that I can still see the baby in them.  The baby that used to need me for everything from food to cuddles to clean bums. 

Oh, don't get me wrong, I know how much they still need me.  They are only two and three...  but they're so independent now.  Ephraim's indignant cry of "I can DO it, MOMMA," often rings through the house.  Keyzia is down to writing her own name, and she is showing so much independance.  It's letting go a little at a time, isn't it? 

So many decision loom in our future.  Decisions that we want to make sure are the best for these little beings that God has entrusted to us.  The most imminent, and the one that weighs the most heavily on my heart is the school issue.  We would love to send them to one of the two Christian schools here in town, but we simply do not, and, without a miracle of some kind, will not have the money to do that.  Pretty high on the list right now is homeschooling.

I have some pretty huge terror and some pretty horrible feelings about relinquishing the care of my daughter, and eventually my son, to a perfect stranger. 

I'm well aware of the fact that I went through public school with little to no problems...  I'm well aware that the majority of the population goes through public school with little to no problems.  What feels wrong to me is the fact that Jason and I have been the biggest influences in our children's lives for the past 3 1/2 years, and now I'm supposed to give that up?  Count on someone else raising my children?  Instilling the morales that I believe in? 

I have days where I am completely for homeschooling.  Days where I can see only the good side, fully the potential.  The ability to teach my children at their own pace.  The opportunity to allow them to focus on the things that they are interested in.  To be able to fast track in some things, and yet go slowly on things that needed the extra time.  That would be a luxury.

Of course, then there are the days when I only see the downside.  The fact that I WOULD be one of the sole providers of education.  That's a huge responsibility.  I worry if I'll have the patience, the knowledge, the perseverance. 

Homeschooling does cost a certain amount of money as well.  Mind you, that would be far far less than Christian school, but still a factor as well.  Would I be able to do respite work still?  Or would I be too tired?  All of these things are swirling around in my already murky brain... 

One thing that I'm not worried about is the socialization aspect.  There is a huge group of homeschoolers in Peterborough that I would be able to take advantage of.  Not to mention play groups, swimming, ballet.  All opportunities for the kids to get together and play with other kids of all ages. 

As this New Year looms so does the need to make a decision over school.  It also becomes a matter of faith.  You take all the Christian kids out of the public schools, and where will the public schools be?  Am I showing a lack of faith by not wanting to put my kids in an environment that I have very little control over?

It's amazing how it all changes when you have kids.  Priorities, hopes, dreams...  it all focuses on those little blessings that have been entrusted to us by God.    This New Year will bring a lot of new things for us.  It just remains to be seen what all those new things are!

I received an email from my Great Aunt Joyce today demanding that I keep on blogging...  it's funny, actually, I've been kind of planning some articles in my head, and yet it's just so much easier not to write them.  It's easier to just sit around and let the holidays wash over me with all the myriad of feelings that go along with it.

But, Aunt Joyce, you have forced my hand!  Or, at least my fingers!  I could blog about the neat felted bag that I just made, post pictures of the Christmas presents, talk about how we have three get togethers down, and two more to go...

There's something about Christmas that turns me into this raving insane lunatic.  I get super annoyed super easily, nothing ever seems to go "right", and really, the whole meaning of Christmas gets lost in the rushing, and the presents, and the buying, and the travelling, and the trying to make everyone happy.

This year we had Christmas day at our house.  It was great.  Keyzia spent the entire day in her pyjamas, and she was ecstatic.  My parents and my sister Glenna came up and we had turkey, played games, and generally stuffed ourselves silly.  Christmas Eve was a little more hectic.  Lots of yummy food, get together with all the sisters, and presents coming out the wazoo.

Boxing day saw us at the yearly gathering of Wolters' in Brighton.  It was chaos personified.  We did not have a good time at all what with the trying to help in the kitchen and the chasing of the children, and the thirty or fourty relatives who were present...

New Year's day will see us with Ja's immediate family, his brothers, his sister, parents and significant others. 

Some people glory in this hustle and bustle.  They love stressing about what to get for who, don't worry about going into debt to buy things that are going to last such a short time.  These people adore decorating and wrapping and all the jazz that seems to go with the season now.

Me?  Not only did I not want to put up the Christmas tree, but I wanted to take it down Christmas Night.

I love giving gifts to people, but I hate that I'm forced to do it by the consumerist way that Christmas has become.  I hate that people look at me funny in stores when I say Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays or Season's Greetings.  I hate that God hasn't been invited to Christmas Celebrations that were conceived to celebrate his birth on earth for a long long time.  ((Don't worry, I totally understand that the odds of Jesus' birthday actually being on December 25th are... well, about 1 in 365, but I see nothing wrong with a day that is to remind us of such a gift...))

What's the solution?  How do we keep Christ in Christmas in our home?  We did put candles in a cake and sing Happy Birthday to Jesus.  We read the story of Christmas as a family on Christmas Eve from the bible.  At every moment we tried to instill in our children that we give gifts to each other to celebrate the greatest gift that was given to us. 

And yet... and yet... something was still lacking.

I think it might be me.  I got some great presents.  I love being with my family...  even though they're all nuts...  Why do I feel like I have to stress out about everyone getting the exact perfect present?  Why do I feel like we need to see everyone, do everything, be everywhere for everyone?  What is it about the way Christmas has become that makes me dread the countdown with every part of my being?

The biggest question is how do we simplify this whole season?  And how do we keep the focus on Christ and off of the consumerism that is forced on us at every turn?

I don't know.  I don't know what the solution is, but I have 360 days to figure it out for next year.

Here I go...  the day before Christmas Eve, the day before we exchange presents with my family, and I have just started a present involving squares.  24 squares.  I have four down.  20 to go.  And about 24 hours.

In those 24 hours I also have to do laundry, play with the kidlets, and clean the house.

Thank goodness Ja brought home our yearly bottle of Amarula last night!

Doable?  Only time will tell.

---

Update - 10:20 pm 9 squares and the edging to go.  The finished squares are already sewn togther, and the ends woven in! 

Unfortunately, the glass of Amarula I had tonight is not helping it go any faster....

This is Lea



Lea joined our family last night and is certainly not used to the rowdiness of this house!  He (yes, I said HE, even though HIS name is LEA.) spent the night hiding in the basement.  Ja and I scared him out this morning, and when he realized the incessant attention that he would get from the horribles, he was quite happy to lay in the middle of the living room for a while.



The kids, once they realized that Lea was quite content to lay still and be petted for... well, for hours on end, have deemed him acceptable, and warmly welcomed him into the family.



Ollie, however, is wondering why we ruined his single cat-hood with this interloper. 

He welcomed Lea with loud hissing, and low growling in his throat.  Once the traditional sniffing of bums was accomplished (yes, cats do that too!)  They decided to tolerate each other, and Ollie proceeded to stalk Lea around the entire house while he explored. 

We still miss Whiskey a lot.  The kids talk about him all the time, but the odds of him coming back now are pretty slim to nil.  My sister Glenna asked us if we wanted Lea a few weeks ago.  Apparently her kitten did nothing but torment Lea all the time.  I'm not too sure how the tormenting of a kitten differs from the tormenting of the children, but only time will tell!

So, welcome Lea!  You better not pee on anything or I'm returning you! 

The long list of Christmas craftiness is almost over!  And, because the recipients of these aren't really able to access the blog on their own... here are the prizes...

These are Sprites. 


One for my niece Sierra, and one for each of my kidlets.  My kidlets were so enamoured with the one that I made Sierra that I decided to make them each one... to the detriment of my poor little fingers.

The one I made for Sierra is just plain legs, with a shell stitch skirt.



The eyes are a bit lopsided, but...  meh.



Keyz's favourite colour is blue, hence the blue striping on the tights.  Which, by the way, was much easier to do than I originally thought.  I did a bit of a picot on the edge of this one's hat and skirt... just to make it different.

Then....  the need to come up with a "manly" sprite. 



A belt!  Ja thinks that this guy needs a big gold chain...  sigh.  I think he looks a bit like a leprachaun.

I'm quite pleased with them tho, and I think they will make excellent additions to the stockings!

And now, me and my sore fingers must get ready for the new addition to our family....

Go on over and congratulate Bekah and her family on the birth of Josiah Christian!  Isn't he a doll?

It's about time, poor Bekah was in labour for about a month!

We got a new to us monitor today...  (Thanks Barry!)  and I had no idea what I was missing!  It's quite a bit smaller than the old one, but the colour, people, the colour!  The greens!  The blues!  The contrasting white!  The beauty of it all!

You see, our old monitor wasn't compatible with our computer and hasn't been for years now.  Everything was really dark.  Like, the banner over at Dooce?  Yah, I just thought it was a solid red bar. Thought it was quite unoriginal of her, to be honest...  But then!  The new monitor has shown me the light!

Pictures on people's blogs that I had to squint to figure out what they were are now crystal clear!  The detail!  The colour!  The imagery!  Wow.

Unfortunately, I also noticed how sucky my blog was.  And how the banner did not at all match the colours.  Bah.  Why did no one tell me??  So, I changed the colours.  But the banner needs to change.  But I am tired.  Tired and also?  Crocheting and knitting like a madwoman with only 7 days until Christmas.  It's not looking good, people.  Not looking good at all.

The problem is that I keep adding myself new projects.  These projects that I must not talk about or the potential recipients will know what they are getting.

Ah yes, Christmas.  'Tis the season for lies and deception.

Is it bad when even I've forgotten the reason for the timeout at the end of the two minutes?

I love it when the snow sticks right to the tree branches like that.  If it's going to be winter, there might as well be snow!


I just want to cozy up with a good book and a warm blanket...  but alas, the Christmas Crafting frenzy must continue.

Wow.

I bent over today to play with the Little People with the kidlets, and felt something pop in my neck. 

I thought to myself, "hmm, that can't be good."  And when I could hardly stand up or move afterward, I thought, "hmm, that really can't be good."  And then I contemplated swearing.  A lot.

So, Ja insisted that I go to my friendly neighbourhood chiropractor (shhh, don't tell Amanda!) And he came home from work so that I could scootch over and Dr. Ben could pop the thing that was sticking out of my neck back in my neck.

And pop it back in he did.  After running it over with the Thumper.  ((Man, I really gotta get me one of those!))  I felt an instant relief of pressure when he popped it back in.  And, the sick feeling in my tummy went right away, and the almost dizzy feeling I had went right away too.

Now, it still hurts.  It's just more sore now.  At least I can move my arms around and pick up the kids.  It was just one of those fluke things, I guess.  My head will actually turn now, and with just a sore muscle kind of pain instead of sharp searing head is trying to detach itself from the neck kind of pain.

But, I guess I'm getting old, hunh?  Bend over to play and my neck goes out.  Next purchase better be a walker and a wheel chair!