My daughter said she wanted to make me a surprise and drew me a picture of the two of us cuddling.  Don't you just love the way she's sprawled across my lap?  The likeness is uncanny...  I'm even wearing glasses! 

It is terrible though, while it made me smile, it made the guilt pile in.  Shouldn't I be home actually doing the cuddling?  I mean, money be damned, right?  MY kids need me!  I think that was a little taste of what working moms go through right there.  I am so blessed that I have this opportunity to make a little bit of money doing respite.  And, while I'm making money, at least my kids can be with their daddy.  I don't have to ship them out and pay a stranger to look after them. 

I'm having a bit of a hard time with doing the respite.  I adore the kids, they're very sweet and they love me to bits.  I get along great with their parents, they pay me promptly and up front...  it's going to be great on my resume when I decide to go back to work full time...  and yet...  my heart aches to be home with my own kids. 

Maybe if I had a job that wasn't just like glorified babysitting, I wouldn't have such mixed feelings over it.  If I was just making coffee, working in retail, something that doesn't need that nurturing momma part of me.  I think I feel a bit like I'm taking my momma bits from my own kids and giving them to these other kids.

Are my kids suffering at all?  They don't appear to be.  They love having their daddy all to themselves a few nights a week.  They're always full of stories in the morning of the towers they built together, and how Eph had to have a timeout for smacking Keyz...  they really do adore that.  I don't think they miss me too much at all on those nights...The problem is that I miss them terribly.

And so the separation begins.  My kidlets have been virtually my whole life for the past 3+ years.  I think I just thought that I would have a couple more years before I had to let them go...  This is just a prelude to Keyzia starting school next year...  then Ephraim starting...  then highschool, then college...  their whole lives are flashing by me seemingly before I can even blink.With that, I'm going to take this time to enjoy and cherish my daughter's artwork...  the pictures that she makes just for me.

Okay, can everyone see these now?  Good ole blogjet... saving the day again...  Had to reload the pics to file manager to be able to do it tho.  sigh.

I was working away on the Halcyon Shawl, crocheting like mad after making one in Angora for Sharlene, and Keyzia asked me to make her one too.

I figure that I have to jump at the opportunity to make her things since in just a few years I'm sure she will be turning her nose up at anything I could even think of making her.

So, after I finished my shawl, made with about 5 or 6 balls of Bernat Satin in Admiral, I was working away on something else, and Keyzia said, "Is that MY shawl, Momma??  Where's my shawl?  Are you going to make my shawl??"

Anyways, I thought that was a pretty big hint from my very subtle little girl, and I started her shawl with the leftover Satin from mine, and the lighter blue satin that I picked up... sometime... for... some... thing...

It actually didn't take too long to make.  I cut the rows way back, and striped it 2 light blue, 5 dark blue.  I made sure to do the short row shaping so that it was solid one colour.

Awright, I've tried and tried to put the pics right into this posting, and Blogware is having another little menopausal hotflash...  so, you can see a pic of the two of us here, and Keyz playing with her shawl on here.   We like to take the tails and tie it behind our backs...  stays on great that way.  Although I am thinking about putting a button on the front of Keyz's so it'll be more like a poncho...  still tossing that one around tho.

This is really a great pattern.  Easy to make, and you can alter it fairly nicely for size just by adding or subtracting rows.  It looks nice without the ribbon woven in, but the ribbon does add a lovely elegant touch...  I used an orange and green and blue ribbon with little flowers on it for mine, and Keyz wanted "all blue" for hers.

The trip to Ottawa was fun, exhausting, a bit crazy, slightly damp, exhausting, and quite exhausting.  Try sleeping with a three year old who thinks she needs to be touching you with some part of her body at all times.  It really isn't pleasant.  Not to mention that I simply don't sleep well when I'm at other people's houses.  Some kind of weird phobia, I guess...  although, now that I think of it, I don't really sleep well in my OWN house, so how could I sleep well at other's?

We got into Auntie Jessie's place around 9:30 Friday night.  She, crazy woman that she is, somehow thought that it took 4 hours to get from Peterborough to Ottawa instead of 3.  She's a bit of a nutbar.  But we love her anyways!  So, because she wasn't expecting us for another hour, she had her apartment in shambles.  Trying madly to put doors on her cupboards so that it would be nicely organized while we were there.  It didn't happen.  For the whole weekend.  Add all the crap that I think I need for a weekend getaway, Keyz's crap, and then Jessie's crap, and it was like a big crap fest.  Our crap all partied together for the whole weekend, creating frantic searching for clean underwear and socks. 

Saturday morning started off with a trip over to Wool-Tyme.  A seriously lovely yarn shop with a bit of everything.  I didn't even look at sock yarn because I have forbidden any new sock thoughts until I finish the pair I started for Jessie something like 2 years ago. 

 

((okay, this really isn't my fault...  socks are...  kind of... well...  boring.  And, I had started the second sock and my hideous son was "helping" and pulled the needles out.  I've been so depressed since then that I just can't bring myself to pick it up again!)) 

Anyways, Jess thought it was touted as the biggest Yarn store in Ottawa, but I'm not sure.  It was really lovely though.  The people were wonderful.  I was asked if I could be helped when I walked in the door, and I explained that I was from a small town with not much yarn choice, she laughed and said, "I understand.  I'll just let you breathe it all in for a bit!"

I bought two skeins of a sweet blue cotton for $2.00 each, and I'm kicking myself for not getting more!  Then I wanted to get something fancy...  something I wouldn't be able to necessarily get here... something yummy and soft...  I've been a bit jealous over Allyson's recent acquisition, and I really thought I should get something on the equivalent.  They had baby alpaca on sale for $10 a skein, but it was kind of ugly.  Probably the reason it was on sale, hunh?  One was a two toned yellow twist, and one was a two toned pink twist.  So, I'm wandering around, fondling the bamboo (what could I make with that??  I was sooo yummy!), touching the angora, wishing I wasn't allergic to wool or angora, and I stumbled across this.  I did the neck test, carried a skein of it around on my neck for a while to see if the prickle and the itch would start, and lo and behold, it did not!  It's Alpaca Paint from the Luxury Collection.  $7.99 a skein.  Spun in Peru.  No idea if that last part means anything!  I got three skeins to make myself a scarf out of.  (((But, which one??)))  I love the colours.  It's really beautiful.  Tones of blue, purple, and turqoise.  And SO soft! **drool**  **drool**

Ahem.  Moving on.

Then we did a little trip over to Old Macdonalds for lunch, and then it was a little hop skip and jump over to the Museum of Science and Technology.  It was pretty good, except for the tired little three year old we couldn't shake all weekend...  They had some experiments going on that the kids got to do, and Keyz did enjoy tearing around the crazy kitchen.

After a little rest back at the old apartment, we were off to the Kanata Wave Pool.  Keyzia was a bit weirded out at first, it was pretty noisy with the waves and everything, but after forcing her to go in (as I am wont to do) she did pretty good.  It was a lot of fun there at the wave pool.  They had a giant water slide, and as soon as Keyz caught site of it, she looked at me very sternly and said, "I am NOT going down that slide!"  There was also a warmer kiddie pool that we took some breaks in.  The way the pool worked was kind of interesting.  There would be a loud buzzer and then the waves would go for about 15 minutes.  Then the waves would stop for another ten to fifteen minutes.  They had a bunch of big things to float on, and they also had life jackets.  By the end of the night, Keyz would hear the buzzer and go, "the waves!  Come on, we can't miss the waves!!"  She loved it and was totally beat by the time we got back to Jessie's.  We all cozied up and watched a movie for the evening...

Sunday was pretty laid back.  Jessie took us out for breakfast at Cora's.  We had amazing crepes.  mmmm.... makes me drool just to think of them.  Then we hopped over to Value Village and had a look through.  We were looking for a fall coat for the Keyz, found one, bought it, discovered the big rip, went to the park and ripped the other side!!  Needless to say I was not impressed.  I'm hopeful that I can fix it though.

We headed for home at about 3, and were home by about 6.  It was a long drive home...  I had one big ole' Cafe Mocha to make it through, that's for sure.  Keyzia slept from before Carlton Place until just after Norwood...  Just for perspective, Carlton Place is about 20 minutes out of Ottawa, and Norwood is about 20 minutes from Peterborough. 

It was a really nice weekend.  Keyzia sucked up the adult attention like crazy.  She adored having me to herself, and I think her little twitch has stopped...  the lack of fear of some two year old brother smacking on her. 

Would I go again?  Sure would!  Although maybe next time I'll leave the kid at home and just do an Ottawa yarn store prowl...  Hmmm, maybe I should start saving now?

 

Pics to follow when I'm not feeling too lazy to bother with posting them....

Day 3


It just keeps getting worse.  And the big chapped lip?  Oh yah... 

Although, I think she's quite proud of it...

Tomorrow night after madly packing, getting things ready, switching carseats, buying groceries, ballet, and any other little thing that needs to be done, the estrogen half of the family is leaving the testosterone half of the family at home.

Keyzia and I are going to visit Ja's sister Jessie in Ottawa until Sunday afternoon!  All by ourselves!

On the agenda, the Museum of Nature, the biggest yarn shop in Ottawa, and the wave pool in Kanata.  Also, revelling in our lack of boyness.

Ooo baby, it's gonna be fun!

So...  Keyz and I were dancing a little bit the other day... I was swinging her around a bit by her hands, she slipped....  and bam!  Banged her face on the little wooden kids chair that happened to be right there...This is the result...
The thing with those bruises and black eyes that they just get worse over time.  Yesterday it was just the cuts around the nose.  Today it's a black eye and a swollen bruised cheek.  Sigh.  And all because I was spending quality time with my beautiful daughter.

"Daddy, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, doodle, what's up?"

"What happens when boys touch girls?"

**silence**  **me desperately trying to smother hysterical laughter and feeling very relieved that it isn't me answering the question**

"Well, honey, do you mean a nice touch?  or a mean touch?"

"A mean touch."

"A mean touch?"  more stalling...

"Yah, when a boy touches a girl with a mean touch does her skin burn off?"

"Well, uh, er, uh..."

"Does her skin fall off?"

"Well, no, but it's not nice for a boy to touch a girl in a mean way, OR for a girl to touch a boy in a mean way.  We should all use gentle touches."

"Oh."

"And if a boy touches a girl in a mean way then they should tell their momma or their daddy about it."

"Can I have a cupcake?"

"sure." ((I'm positive that here the daddy was thinking, "you can have anything you want if you just stop it with the hard questions, already!!))

And it begins...

 

Oh, thanks Auntie Glenna and Auntie Ashley.  Next time we'll have her phone you!

And I blushed.  28 years old, and I blushed when someone said I was hot.

A few months ago, at the beginning of the summer, I cut my hair off.  It was really short in the back, but still longish across the top and along the sides.  Well, I got the short hair bug, and yesterday I went to see my illustrious hair guy.  The only guy who has cut my hair for the last six years or so.  He says that this is the best haircut he has ever given me.

It's short, people.  Really short.



But my hairdresser thinks I'm hot, so what's a girl to do?

Our Play-dee-Bug was returned to us yesterday so that my parentals can take it home for little adorable Savannah.  Keyzia and I were discussing how we weren't going to keep it...  an interesting thing is that they pretty much hated the thing when they were both babies, but now we can't keep them out of it!!

"Uncle Len brought the Play-dee-bug back for us!"

"Yup!  We're going to send it to Savannah's house."

"Savannah's my NEW cousin."

"That's right, she is your new cousin."

"Sierra's my OLD cousin."

"She is?"

"Yup.  Sierra's VERY OLD."